How hard is it to make women’s jeans with phone-sized pockets?

Purses, holsters, and white-knuckle grip doesn’t erase the need for decent-sized pockets in 2019.

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Isn’t my holster awesome? I look like a secret agent wannabe, but I like to think I rock it pretty well. It’s not my first shoulder holster and I don’t think it’ll be my last, but do you want to know a little secret? I’m not rocking the Lara Croft look because I want to: I rock it because I need my damn phone and none of my jeans will let me sit down with it my front pockets!!

I’ve bounced around brands a bit in the last decade — worn some Levis, worn some Angels, worn the ever-loving hell out of some Underground Soul flares — but I haven’t owned a pair of good-fitting pants that my phone properly fit in the front pocket of since college. Maybe I can fit it in the front pocket while I’m standing up, but if I want to sit down anywhere, it has to come out, which is just a recipe for disaster.

For a while, I just made do with my overstuffed pockets and having to hold my phone when I sit down, but then in March of 2016, I met Michael Fisher — Captain Two Phones himself — at a company conference and I fell in love… with his holster.

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The LD West holster fit under jackets, it fit around gear bag straps and didn’t need taking off for anything. The elastic meant that the holster bounced when I ran in it — a rare but sometimes necessary act in a live local news station — and both sides were magnetic clasp holsters so it could only hold two phones or a phone and a wallet, but it was a great holster for me to start with.

Most people gave it a double take, realized it wasn’t a gun, and moved on.

I received a review unit shoin mid-2016, and while my mother hated it, most people gave it a double take, realized I wasn’t packing a gun, and moved on. It was great at the bar — I don’t know about you, ladies, but I hate trying to keep up with a purse during karaoke night at the bar — and it was even better at the theme parks, as I didn’t have to take it off for any rides.

When the Phonster X came along at the beginning of 2017, I jumped on the Kickstarter, seeking something more. When the holster finally showed up six months later, it was like a dream. The straps were strong and non-elastic — meaning they sat better on my petite female frame — and the second multi-pouch was big enough to fit my wallet, car keys, house keys, hand sanitizer, and even a tiny bit of candy when needed, meaning that I could still have everything I needed even while wearing yoga pants or a skirt.

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I still need to try the newly released Phonster Z — especially since I’m not sure how I feel about both sides using zippers instead of the magnetic clasp phone pouch — but even more, I wish I didn’t have to strap up every time I leave the house.

The women I see for the most part have adapted one of four scenarios when faced with a lack of suitably pocketed attire:

  • Their phones live in their purses.
  • Their phones sit in their pocket when standing and get set down when they need to sit down.
  • They buy ill-fitting clothing with deep pockets.
  • Their phones live in a dedicated accessory such as a wristlet or fanny pack.

Granted, part of the problem is that phones are so much bigger than they were 5 years ago, but the men in my life never seem to have issues keeping a phone in their pockets. While men’s pants are about function as much as fashion, women’s clothiers still don’t see a problem in shrunken or missing pockets.

Maybe they think it’s a good excuse to sell us another purse.

Ladies, have you found that mythical denim brand that fit your body type and your phone type? Do you have a pantheon of purses to hide your phone in? Have any ideas of what might work better? I want to hear them! Hit me in the comments, hit me on Twitter, stop me when you see me at Walt Disney World and give me hope of a better world where pockets reign supreme.

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Because even the Disney princesses — and the magnificent female managers I see at the parks every day — agree:

Princesses need pockets!!

Phonster Z

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$114 at AGE

This is the next generation of my beloved Phonster X, with the Z standing for Zippers, as all pouches now use zipper enclosures. Looking to try a holster? Start with this one.

Waterfly Water Resistant Fanny Pack

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$15 at Amazon

Fanny packs aren’t even 30% as cool as my holster, but they’re easy to find in neat styles and can fit more in them. This sleek model is splash-resistant and available in ten colors.

Danny K Women’s Tapestry Crossbody

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$20 at Amazon

Just need a purse to carry your phone, wallet, and maybe some candy and hand sanitizer? This tiny purse is perfectly sized and has tons of cool designs to choose from.