Friday, March 29, 2024

The cyberpsychologist is in

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nerd psycho therapy at sleeping psychiatrist studio

My first session with a cyberpsychologist didn’t go so well.

She asked me to lay back on the couch, relax, and “think of cyber.”

“You know,” she said, “what you do when you’re angry.”

“Well, I don’t really cyber when I’m angry-” She cut in, “Do you have penetration problems?”

“No!” I stammered, “I … I have I guess what you’d call cyber … toys? I mean, when I want to penetrate a-“

“Oh,” she said acidly. “Then you must be dealing with feelings of cyber-castration. You were cut off from a network as a child, weren’t you?”

“Network!? Wait. Do you mean cyber, or do you mean cyber?”

Okay, so my first cyberpsychology session might have actually been all in my head, but I’m far from alone in my confusion about whether the spokesperson for cyberpsychology — apparently a real term — means cyber (as in security) or cyber (as in sex).

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